Digging down into the muck and grime of our world, on a quest for meaning where all seems to be tinsel. What is our roll here. For me it is to put paint on canvas and to attempt to live in a less destructive way in the world. But that is rather shallow and does not address the deeper meaning, just dances around the edge of the shit bowl of truth.
When I think about all that has happened in my life. The people I have known, the places I have been, the things I have experienced. I have started to zero in on a clear direction. I have begun to find my place. But I am still a ways off. Only having two years at community college is a bit hampering. Predominantly because I do not actually know anyone in my field, and actually, besides being relatively certain art is completely nepotistic I do not know the field and the way it works. Well I know it has become more and more business oriented. But that is not much.
Each day I reassess, it comes with the territory of living in a bus that has to be moved to a new location each day. It comes with making art and having no security and little money. Each day i am granted the privilege of not knowing what i am doing and trying to reform my plan.
Maybe i should go back to the beginning. explore the entire story of my life. Tell it all and see what motifs form. God it sounds like so much. so many lenses to look through to understand those times and the people involved.
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