Well, spent a week getting ready to fly to Pittsburgh, only to find out the tickets were messed up and I was possibly going to miss my mother's wedding. Since I wasn't there for the first one I intended to make it this time around.
Going through cha cha changes. My voice is dropping, growing hair where there was not before. Nah, I just wrapping this up and heading to Eugene after the wedding. Don't know how that will feel, it will either be productive to go back to what is the closest I have to a home right now, or be a distraction. I think I have the mettle and focus right now to weather the laid back small easy going, beer swilling attitude.
The main thing in my mind is to work on getting shows now, actually. If I start the ball rolling on being an artists, and shifting my image of the place and the places image of me into a full fledged art-tiste. Changing ones image can be a delicate task. One can not force something new on aggressively. And yet, one cannot slip back into old habits. And old friends can make that slide down the rabbit hole look appealing. But when i be painting like a junkie with pigments in his veins, nothing can arrest my development. That's my road. I can feel inspiration brewing.
That's the way it is. Sometimes you are just in the right space to produce. All I wanna do is smash paint together and smear it on a canvas for all the days. Ain't no one gonna hold me back.
Bussin' around Eugene should be interesting. Part of me suspects that if I don't find a house to park in I might get broken into. Which is not surprising, simply that after all this time in Portland with out incident..... But I eat my Wheaties, geared up, and amped on life.
That was too much. Sounds like some sort of teen warrior, battling inexcusable behavior and poke marked skin. Yeah, insert Judd Nelson fist pump.
Got to be careful not to unduly psyche myself up here, and then stagnate in the real world.
I do spend an exorbitant amount of time thinking about mixing paint.
There is so much to say, don't know why i am stagnating. I have been working on a story. On a world where things are falling apart. And people are loosing it. For a myriad of psychological reasons people are cracking. A world like ours, but where the collective unconscious has reached a boiling point. Disasters are common place, business and food distribution is starting to fail globally. War and disease are rampant. Mainly our world spinning a little more out of orbit. And people start cracking.
Let's see, weirder than what is actually happening. Maybe someone building their own dirigible, so they can be a floating sniper. We already have drive by's on the white house. I just imagine people flipping out in the streets. Not all violent stuff. Just this sense that the future is fucked, so consequences are not the same. As a global perspective the human spirit is erupting in uncertainty. It gives alot to work with as a story teller. More on this later.
A guy I know was shot by Woodstock last week. I did not know him well. I did, however, know the guy who was with him. I know we cannot escape violence in this world. But it sucks. People do not deserve to be murdered senselessly. We should not be afraid to go out into the streets. And the wars continue.
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