I have decided to embrace computers again. I have not a,ways had a benign relationship with these machines. As a teenage I would much prefer to hand write a paper then sit down infront of the glowing green screen. The hum of the computer made it hard for me to think, and I felt this voice in the back of my mind choking back a scream. I knew that my aversion of computers would hold me back from being successful in life. I did not care. Every field I liked was moving towards computers, one more reason to be a drop out in society.
Well twenty years later, I have come around. Mainly because I am done with people. That sounds weird, I will explain. I have so much I want to do, every day I am trying to work on numerous projects. I don't have the time for friends, for a relationship. It is time and commitment. There are so many things I need to do in order to feel fulfilled, and I always feel behind. I have been wrestling with these things my whole life. I am too social to ever have enough time for my interests. Then it occurred to me, conceivably I could have some social connections on the internet. I can't really get into face book. It is just not for me, But it allows me to see the possibilities.
In some ways this seems like a silly blog. I am a do it or don't do it sort of person. Don't talk about doing it, your wasting your energy. I have tried to get into computer usage before and been repeatedly repelled. Maybe this is the time. May this be a first step to a new relationship to the world. Talk soon.
-Ta, Julian
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