Our own way.

     For me accepting that I am a failure as an artist is inspirational. It allows me to look at where I am at, what I have done, and where I am going, or not going. Other people think it sounds negative. It allows me to ask questions. First of all, why do I even want success and what does that look like. I want some variety of monetary success because I want the time to be an artist. If there is one thing that does irk me it is that all these years I feel held back as an artist simply because I do not have the time, or after my regular work I do not have the energy to focus and grow as an artist. The years go by and this thing that I love, this activity that breathes life into my soul is neglected. Do I care about being a great or important artist? Umm, no, not particularly. I like it as a concept because rationally I know that if someone deemed me as a great or important artist I would not have to work so hard selling my stuff. But that is not a genuine motivation. Wanting to be somewhere so that you do not have to work to get there will never change anything. So I have to learn how to sell myself. Or I can simply focus on creating and producing work that is exciting enough to me to want to promote, or should I pursue my wilder ideas of creation that are interesting enough to make who I am and what I am about vibrant and attractive.
   Really I cannot due any of this 'cause I go to go to work on Monday. But the good news is when I am done with my job I won't be broke, right. So maybe then I can pursue the big dream plan.
    I am definitely going to do it my own way. I have never been a self promoter. There is a Rakim quote, "It's not where you have been, It's where your at." I know people want to know what you have done, what credentials you have, why they should choose you for so and so. But to me that sucks the life out of what was and where I am going. I want where I am to take me to the next step. Is that a pipe dream? Maybe. But maybe if I can actually share what I am doing with you. Maybe if this world wide web thing really connects us all across the globe. Maybe I can feel like I am reaching out to the world. Maybe we can all make art. Maybe we can change the world
   That sounds like a whole lot of bullshit. The time, however, is now. We cannot live in this world the way we do any more. This paradise we call home is heating up. I cannot watch my planet be destroyed in my life time. It is no longer just about being successful as a painter or illustrator. It becomes about living for your ideals. Maybe I do not have the resume to achieve as an artist, but I have the mettle in my beliefs, the foment in character to be an individual in a world driven to conformity.
  It is time we got off the track.