Tai chi with David

Yesterday was David Carradine day fro me. Woke up after partying with Zach and he popped on the David Carradine Tai chi work out. I have always wanted to do Tai chi, and clearly there is no better way to be introduced to it then from the sunny southern California master, the legend of laid back intensity. Yeah dude, power from the eighties in the from of neon spandex, mustaches,  and the silent asian super master. Then, to conclude, we did the Carradine meditation in the horse stance. Master Carradine informed us that the mind was like any other muscle, and if you worked it tirelessly with out giving yourself rest then, it like any other part of your body looses it's suppleness, it's vibrance. It grows weary. This struck a cord with me. Due to my situation, living on the streets in my bus, I feel like I should be painting, not just everyday, but all day. I know that the harder I work, the more I am out there, i can accelerate the long road towards being a self supportive artist. But I don't paint every day. I often get caught up in banal activities of feeding myself, getting on and doing searches on this machine, or visiting and catching up with friends. While the more judgmental side of my brain is critical of these sidetracks, David Carradine reminded me that these things, this easy going attitude I am sometimes known for is not necessarily a bad thing, it could be keeping me young. this is a major time of transformation for me. Not only am I focusing and growing as an artist. I am growing as an capitalist American. Which is something I suck at. My sales pitch hoes something like I would like to make ten dollars an hour for this art, but if you like it I could continue to drop the price. Not a very smart capitalist, digging myself in a non sustainable price hole. But I have a sales pitch that I recognize sucks. These are big steps for the likes of me. I realized once i decided to try to sell my art I was a capitalist. No matter what beliefs I have the bottom line is I live and work for money.
   On the topic of beliefs I find that mine are more in retaliation to a larger system. My eldest brother once called me an anarchist, but since we stopped communicating after I broke his door off the hinges when I was seven 'cause I wanted to play with him and his friends. They had an atari. So I don't think he knows me enough to nail down my political beliefs. Since I cannot really do it myself. I am an environmentalist. I believe that if human's do not make an active choice to act as steward to the land, this little cancerous race has no chance. Beyond that I see systems as way to view the world, and I believe in diversity. My problem with capitalism is it's need and insistence on complete domination of the world. My problem his Anarchy is it gives no positive future human aspirations. My problem with Communism is it insecurely rejects all other ideas, beliefs, and modes of thought. Socialism, well, if we consider socialism as a system attempting to address human needs to work together and receive the benefits of mutual survival, I have no complaints. But while many governments have socialist elements, and programs, I know of no country, that is model to base off of. So it seems like a mute point.
     I tell myself that I moved into the bus because I knew I could not make rent while developing myself as an artist. But I am able to make it work because I have always struggled with living in a expensive, prosperous, ruling country. I frequently felt more comfortable in foreign countries. Weather they were wealthy european counties progressive in their support of art and thought, or poor villages encased in jungle where art is seen on par with magic. Every country besides America values the unexplainable, the intangible, and recognizes that art delves into that realm. As an american all that hokis pokis stuff has literally no value. If we cannot sell it or buy it, or at least market it, it has no meaning and can go to hell. Can we sell hell. Why not, isn't that what a military industrial complex specializes in.
    And really that is why art does not succeed in america. Look at all the big names. Some of their stuff is nice, but they are all clearly rather masterful at selling themselves as artists. They recognize they need to do big flashy stuff that grabs peoples attention. I would go down the list, but I am bad with both names and spelling. I will leave you with one last unsettling image. Me, sitting on Zach's little back porch over looking an apartment courtyard. The warm sun rays beaming down. I feel like a melting popsicle, having just showered and wearing nothing but a towel. And in the center of this dripping melty fruit stick are the steady words of the Kung Fu master, release the negative thoughts, and give your brain a break.